One thing you will learn when moving to Los Angeles, California and get involved in The Biz is that there is a certain type that—in the words of Marilyn Monroe—will “pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.” These people are the Lie-To-Yous and they will charm the pants off of you in order to exploit something about you. They aren’t malicious people (mostly), but they could have sold a large flatscreen television to Helen Keller.
These Hollywood citizens have been in LA since talking pictures were first introduced to the world. They were once movie producers and turned into band managers and now are back to producers, mostly. However, now these “producers” lurk in the shallow, murky waters of reality television: they are the masters at selling--literall--shit.
Back in the olden days, the producers would steal up kids with stars in their eyes who were the Marilyn Monroes and the Cary Grants (and later the Britney Spears and the Lindsay Lohans). These people see that a person (usually young and naïve—or just stupid) has “something” they need: a product--be it beauty, hilarity, music, or an attractive vagina. They convince them that they will be a “star,” get the person that stardom, and run them ragged until they are forgotten or meet a tragic ending due to their overexposure.
In that case, things have changed now. Today it's more akin to juicing a lemon: rough, quick, sour, and disposable. Since fame and media has become so super saturated in the world (thank you, Internet), commoners and boys/girls-next-door are trying to jump into the action without any experience or reason: they just want to be known and loved and celebrated, which manifest itself as a need for a camera on their face. That being the case, many Craiglist ads now solicit for reality shows, which are bought and sold everyday. Thus, a sucker snatched up every minute.
The producers of these shows look for manipulability in these personalities, which means they want someone with a body or who is laughable but have zero brain power. The “zero brain power” is the most important part because the Lie-To-You is there to fill in the emptiness between the ears. When these persons who are their victims finally come to from their brainwash (which happens frequently on set--which is why The Biz has on set Story Producers), they are talked back into the hoax: “Don’t you want to show them what you are made of? You need to explain that you are worth it! Don’t go down without a fight!”
Thus, a fight on Flavor Of Love occurs, a person has 15 minutes on The Soup, does one or two interviews on a few channels, person gets an agent, person gets dropped by an agent, and producers laugh in their offices about that girl a few months ago who did that thing a few seasons ago—what was her name? "I don’t know, but I have a dinner at Mastro’s now. I need to hop in my Mazeratti. Later, bro."
These people are the grease that makes the Hollywood Shit Machine run. They make a lot of money, aren’t the brightest, but can manipulate the shit out of anyone because they can convince you of anything. Unless you want to be a featured player on a one season run of a reality show, try to stay away from these people and ads on Craigslist.
TOXICITY LEVEL: 9
We really wanted to give these a ten, but some are actually tolerable. Most are not. Most are just mean. Most will make you want to stab your eyes out and deafen yourself as to avoid their evil.
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