PERSON OF LA 7: The West Hollywood Groupie

Los Angeles is home to many gay men and women. However, there is a unique breed of gays and fag hags who frequent the mecca of the Los Angeles known as West Hollywood. These are the West Hollywood Groupies, who are gay men and their women, who exclusively frequent going out on the town multiple nights of the week to WeHo’s Santa Monica strip, roaming from gay bar to gay bar to gay bar.

If you’ve lived in Hollywood, you’ve done it before: been to The Abbey and walked over to Here then left for Rage, stopped at Cactus Cantina, and then don’t remember anything beyond that. You woke up the next morning stinking of cigarettes, a little greasy, and with a headache. But, on the brightside, you only spent $20!

The attraction to WeHo is that it is a sort of 365/24/7 Spring Break for gay men, women, and their corresponding peoples. For the West Hollywood Groupie, this is like a dream come true. These men and women (mostly men) find it liberating. They usually came out of the closet later than you would imagine and are making up for lost time by buying $3 margaritas every other night and frequenting wet boxer nights and drag shows. They typically aren’t the svelte West Hollywood gays who have washboard abs, are in their twenties, and have tans: they are the slightly older, slightly chubby, slightly balding guys (and gals) who are the 21^st century, non-heteronormative answer to a bar fly.

Now, there is nothing wrong with going to WeHo occasionally—but exclusively and multiple times a week? And with your boyfriend because that is "going out"? Give it a rest and be creative, guys. Also, the market is so saturated there, everyone knows who you are, that you roll with the same group all the time, and have very little going for you besides the new blood (who oftentimes are discerned from their getting very drunk very fast or their being super uncomfortable with the atmosphere) and Tuesday and Thursday’s drink specials.

There is nothing wrong with having your “place” and your own little Cheers but WeHo can be downright skanky. The West Hollywood Groupies are oftentimes the reason it can be that way, as they are on the prowl, hunting or just "watching." If you are an outsider, they definitely make you know it, because you can feel their eyes rubbing up against the back of your legs.

We don’t want to dissuade you from going to West Hollywood, we just want to give you a kind warning before you get a semi-kind—mostly aggressive—tap on the ass. In any event, we recommend bars in Thai Town, Silverlake, and even Echo Park. You may even want to try The Valley for more fun gay bars.

TOXICITY LEVEL: 8

Always bring a friend when going on these outings to West Hollywood: the WHG can definitely spot new blood and will do their damnedst to get you liq’d up and loosey goosey. It’s always good to have a friend at your back.